Joseph Bishop's letter to Henry Bishop

Joseph Bishop’s Letter to Henry, 1862.

37 Elizabeth Street,
Melbourne.
August 6, 1862.
8 o’clock P.M.
My dear Harry,
Here I am, truly a bachelor all alone. I don’t very well yet shake into the life and fancied I should like it better than I do. “Barry Sullivan” commences at the Royal on Saturday in “Hamlet”. I shall go and if I like his impersonation of that character shall go two or three times a week to see him. He is said to be a better and more finished actor than Brooke. Geo Rolfe dined with me last night to settle up per furniture, so that the house and contents are mine until 1st June 1863, then suppose I shall sell off and go to lodgings.
Mr Keep and I do not get on well together- he proposed last Saturday to pay me out, but we have had two such bad years having written off thirty four thousand pounds that my amount would be so paltry would scarce be sufficient to keep one, beside it does not answer my purpose yet. There are so many things I want to see the results of, such as-

Phoenix Company 2,500
Farnald 3,000
Corser 500
Shenstone 2,000
Fulton 1,900
Russ 1,000
Pitfield Hotel 1,000
Burringong 600
Robinson Thomas & Co 3,500
16,000
Half these hit & miss 1700 Total 17,700
Amounts are mine if they turn out all right. The first three amounts are dependent on Phoenix Co- if that does not pay they are worthless. Besides these I have my interest in three or four other mines that will, I hope, turn up something. It is pretty certain that we shall not hold together beyond our next stocktaking, unless the feeling between us is vastly different to what it has been lately. He is angry that I have engaged “Smith” as traveller, at least I think that is it. I say this to you strictly private- burn this note. Your copies of “Anna’s” note reached me on Monday. I expected she had left ‘ere this.”Tom” has not written me so cannot say what the poor fellow is doing or getting on.
Well now- about your own little matter -since I promised to say something to you about it- you will I presume not feel very well pleased with me unless I fulfil the promise. SINCERELY I would have wished not to have heard such news of you yet. You are young, have your own fortune to carrie, and not having yet scarcely set one foot on the path towards it I feel and think it would been better and more prudent to have waited another year or two before taking such an important sacred step.
Don’t you imagine I say this because it is to Bertha- the same feeling, same expression would have escaped me had it been to anyone else, unless, however, she was possessed with substantial reasons or means- which would make you independent of the feeling or opinion of any one, and what I might say would then be powerless.
By an engagement In understand it to be “engaged to be married” and to continue such an avowal for some two or three years (which in your case you must do) is in my opinion a wearing out of the very sweetness and essence and happiness that the engagement was made for.
To Bertha personally I have not the least objection- she is, I believe, a shrewd, sensible, clever girl- not accomplished as you say- but would pass better in society than many ladies who are or considered to be, and I think will make a good, careful wife. And you, my dear Harry, possess an average share of common sense, of judgement, and discernment and if you are fully and truly satisfied that you can be happy- quite happy- with Bertha Hughan as your wife, and that you feel sure and certain you can devote and bestow all your tenderness, affection and love upon her- that all your life’s care and thought will be to endeavour to make her happy and seeing her so should be, I hope will be, to you, the highest, noblest, happiest feeling man can enjoy.
In all I say I have but one only sincere, hearty and earnest wish, and that is for your prosperity, your happiness. Had you asked me first I might have said no, but if it is your wish, your choice thoughtfully and carefully considered, why should I object.
Before I take leave of this subject, there are one or two other remarks I wish to make and which I think may have escaped or perhaps not occurred to you- viz- it is the duty of every man before he selects or makes choice of a partner for life to observe well not only that the lady herself is everything his heart could wish or desire, but that her connections or relatives are of such stamp and respectability that they too are congenial to his own feelings and wishes. That rather than lessen or humble him in the scale of society, that they should rather lift up or exalt him among his fellow man.
In this respect, my dear Harry, you have in my opinion stumbled at the onset. Who but Mrs McCallum is there that as a relative of your future wife you can even respect?
The elder brother, “Oscar”, is a great scamp- a worthless vagabond, an actor, a loafer, that would if the least encouraged live upon you, eat you, smoke you, drink you up, ruin you, and care not.
Fergus you know- no punishment or privation or pain this fellow may undergo will give him half his desserts, because I look upon him as the cause of all the trouble and misery the family have for years suffered, struggled with. This wretch had an appointment as Clerk on the Bench at Kyneton, which from his degraded drunken, smoking habit he lost, and from that circumstance their troubles commenced. And what has he done or been since?Look at him now and say.
Allan and his wife you known and have yourself in my opinion truly characterized. Then there is Edmiston, his wife and three children, that will always and forever be an expense and trouble to Mrs McCallum and perhaps you.
When, my dear Harry, a man selects a wife from a large family that are poor and want help, depend upon it he will be a poor man himself and perhaps want help too. You may say and think you will avoid it, but you cannot- your wife cannot nor is it natural she should.
I am a living proof to this myself. Why, for twenty two years I have given to Mrs Hurry forty pounds per annum and for the last ten years I have given her fifty pounds.. Tot that up with only with interest and compound interest and see what you make of it. I fancy you would be deuced glad to be fingering it- I should be very pleased to grab hold of it.
Allan has sent Jacob a letter for him to get inserted in the Herald- an answer to some rubbishing epistle and on a subject that ought not to take his attention, so much more his time. Jacob said this man is “mad”- he doesn’t like the job a bit. I see by his letter he is coming to Melbourne. When here I should not be surprised that Keep will get hold of him and if so most likely the contents of his letter to me about you will be passed out. I shall then have one of his satirical laughs about you.
I am,dear Harry, Yours ever,
Jos. Bishop
Not time to write the ladies this week. I fear I shall stand badly with them."

I had a whole range of emotions running through me the very first time I read this letter back in the mid-1980s.Firstly, thankfulness that Henry Bishop had not "burned this note" as ordered to by his Uncle. Then puzzlement that Henry would not want to burn the note after Joseph wrote such scathing things about his future wife's family- Bertha would have been very hurt , one would think, if she had found the letter and read such strong insults aimed at her siblings.I thought that Both Joseph and Henry were condescending about Bertha herself..."not accomplished as you say- but would pass better in society than many ladies who are or considered to be". How uppity and snobbish...I hardly think Ironmongers and hardware merchants, wealthy as they may have been,had the right to look down their noses at anyone!
I was furious with narrow-minded old Joseph and his attack on the Hughan family- research has shown that they were all good, decent hardworking people.Certainly, they may have held more unusual professions at times, like Allan and Oscar, but I hardly think they deserved Joseph Bishop's written assault. I must admit, I was newly married myself at the time of reading the letter, and was amazed- and yes, a little cross- that my new mother-in-law agreed with the sentiments expressed by Joseph in regard to marriage and the selection of one's wife!
The letter is a priceless item to have. It is written in black ink on thin blue paper, and is in amazing condition considering that it is 148 years old.

Henry Bishop took his Uncle's advice and he and Bertha had a long engagement that lasted just over two and a half years. Bertha's mother, Hannah Oakley Hughan, had died in 1860 while she and Jessie were away in England, so on their return Bertha lived with Jessie and the children at Youngera full time.